me and my maxi 

ahaha seems like its me and max

i have fallen back into the hole i thought i had left behind a few years ago. nothing is going right and everything is wrong. i dont remember the last time i felt like this. 

story of my life right now

I personally dont have horrible self image problems. sure there are things that i wish were a bit tighter or smaller but overall i am happy. It really hurts me to see people i know beat themselves up over what they look like. going for runs twice a day and not eating on top of it is not smart, diet pills, vomiting, its just no good. I cant imagine doing that to myself until my friends start doing it and i become self conscious.. I know i am bigger then my friends and thats fine but when they beat themselves up over their bodies how can i help but not feel bigger then i actually am. If they see themselves as fat how big do they really see me? I try to block it out when they do tlk to me or make references because i dont want to hear it, i dont want to have those thoughts in my head. When they dont eat at lunch i dont ask why anymore. I want to help but i dont want to go down the same road. I am happy with my body. I am not a size zero, i have celulite, i would rather eat a burger than a salad and that is just who i am. 

Everyone is beautiful and i really believe that. Dont starve yourself. Someone once told me guys like things to grab onto and it has really stuck with me. 

I am going prom dress shopping tomorrow and i cannot wait to buy a dress that fits to my curves because i am proud of them and everyone else should be proud of theirs.